About this book

At a young age, knowing you will die earlier than your peers is often intense. But despite this challenging situation, young people often have many ideas, questions and thoughts about death and how they want to say goodbye. But how can they bring this up? This might not be easy.

In families with a seriously ill young person, "the law of double protection" often applies. Parents prefer to protect their child. So they keep their feelings to themselves. And the young person, he or she protects the parents as well!

This book can help young people to start a conversation with the people close to them. A book to think about on the farewell and funeral. It is a "workbook" in which, in addition to reading practical information, tips and ideas, you can also write and draw. This special book What would you prefer? can be used to talk to parent(s), siblings or caregivers about the impending goodbye due to death.

More information

page 1
page 11
page 21
page 50

The book

page 1
page 23
page 27
page 11
page 40
page 21
page 50

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The book is sold at cost price. The price per book is €9,50. 

Shipping in the Netherlands
One book + shipping: €15,00
Two books + shipping: €24,50
Three books or more: number of books (€9,50 per book) + €7,50 shipping costs

Shipping abroad
One book + shipping: €20,00
Two books + shipping: €30,00
Three books or more: shipping cost varies by country. If you like more information about this in advance, send an email to info@hoezoujijhetwillen.nl. Before shipping, you will receive an email with the correct shipping costs.

The books will be sent via PostNL when the payment is received. 


With a lot of passion and dedication, I, Claudia Geenen, founded and designed my own funeral company, Kleur Kinderuitvaart, in 2012. In my work as a funeral director, I have experienced how important it is that a funeral is according to everyone's wishes. I experienced that parents often did not know what their child's wishes were. Parents feared starting the conversation because they wanted to protect their child from the grief of the impending death. Conversely, the young person protected his/her parents, while talking can provide relief. This experience prompted me to take the initiative to create a wish book for young people. Hopefully, this special book can help young people and parents to start the conversation. A book to think about your own farewell and the funeral. "What would you prefer?"


Rebecca Dabekaussen is a grief therapist and specializes in counselling children and young people in case of loss and grief. She works at the Emma Children's Hospital Amsterdam UMC, among others. She works in a specialized children's palliative team. From this, she guides families with a child that will not get better. In her work, she sees how important it is that young people and parents can talk to each other when death is near. But also that especially sick young people want to remain in control for as long as possible.

She also has her own practice in Weesp: "Blijvend Verbonden", for mourning and loss counselling. Here she helps children, young people and adults when health, illness and grief require attention in the family. Rebecca is involved in innovative healthcare projects and provides training to professionals.

My name is Machteld Hardick. I am an illustrator and designer, and I enjoy working from my studio in Groningen. I make my illustrations 'old-fashioned', by hand on paper, with ink and paint. Then the digital processing follows. My drawing style is bright, fresh, and similar to reality. I like to add something funny or alienating to my drawings. By looking at something from a different perspective, I force the viewer, usually children, to think even more. In this way, the illustration reinforces the story.

I found it an honour and great fun to participate in this great initiative by Claudia together with designer Amke. It was special to make illustrations for this booklet and to think about the image you create on this subject. I hope that the drawings support the process and the content of the book and, who knows, bring a smile again. Made with love!

My name is Amke van Tintelen. I was asked to merge Machteld's beautiful illustrations into a beautiful and practical book. How nice to be able to contribute to this book.


Title: What would you prefer?

Authors: Claudia Geenen and Rebecca Dabekaussen

Illustrator: Machteld Hardick
Designer: Amke van Tintelen

Translater: Hanneke Majoor

Publisher: not applicable

Language: English  

NUR: 766

ISBN: 9789090317342

First press: August 2020

Price: € 9,50

Pages: 48